the importance of being mother

I once attended a seminar in which the speaker introduced us to some research he had done. He had interviewed a series of highly successful men (I believe they were all men), leaders of industry, multi-millionaires, famous actors, etc. He found they all had one thing in common: a mother who told them they could achieve anything they wanted. Over the years, growing up, they internalised this voice, carrying it round like an inner-cheer leader, such that they believe in themselves and their ability to do ANYTHING.

Conversely, I don’t know how much this holds true in all situations, but certainly in fiction and a few famous examples, it would seem that psychopaths often have terribly dysfunctional relationships with their mothers – including, of course, Hitchcock’s original ‘psycho’.

So, maybe this post is a day late or maybe my thinking was inspired by mother’s day, but I am ever more convinced that Freud was right and so much of our relationship with the world is shaped in the image of our relationship with our mothers. This isn’t meant to put pressure on women with children, but to liberate them, to inspire them to greatness, to reassure them that what they do now IS important – of the highest importance.

My feeling now is that my greatest ‘job’ is to instill in Anya a sense of genuine, comfortable self-confidence and belief. Or at least to get out of the way in her developing one for herself.

And while I am at it, thank you to my mom, for being all that you are, you star!

P.S. For those who feel they did not have this support growing up, all is not lost. You ‘just’ have to mother your inner-child and be your own cheer leader. You can do it. Yes you can!


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