Let us take a step back. For a long while, most of the people reading this knew me (or my hubby) directly, so little introduction was needed. But looking at the number of people who read my blog, I am guessing not all of you know me personally. I am thinking a bit of background might go a long way.
This being a blog about mothering, let’s start there. I had my first (and so far only) daughter Anya when I was 34. She is now 6 months old… and I am no longer 34. We were intent on having a home birth but it turns out the fates had another birthing experience in mind for Anya and me [you can read the full birth story here]. She was breech, did not want to turn and finally made her appearance butt first through a ‘window’ in my belly on New Year’s eve 2009.
My life-partner K, Anya and I live in the Bay Area, California. We moved here two years ago from London, England. We are a hotch-potch of Euro-American-Asian-ness. I am part-Portuguese, part-British, born in the USA. K is British Born Chinese. Anya is, well, a mixture of all that. Having moved here relatively recently means most of our oldest and best friends and family live in Europe (or further scattered around the world). In contrast, when you have a baby, perhaps more than any other time in your life you find yourself yearning to be with your loved ones, for support but also somehow to share the joy and connect up the dots of that family tree.
But we love it here. Truly we do. The weather (hey, we came from London – trust me the weather is something we are very grateful for here!); the slow and appreciative pace of life, easy access to beautiful wilderness including the proximity to the pacific, the people who we find to be just as sunny as the weather – yes there are many reasons to love this area. Additionally we find what elsewhere is tagged ‘alternative’ is practically mainstream here. This is a town of priuses, solar panels, acupuncture, yoga and satsang. When people think of hippie California, they are thinking of the Bay Area.
And this suits us well… this suits me well. I am the hippie in this relationship. K is the tech and again, living so close to silicon valley means we are in the heart of the action when it comes to exciting technological advances in fields that peak his interest (and mine, too). It is fabulous.
Perhaps you knew all of this about us already, so let me go back a step further, in time. Okay, in summary, my undergraduate ‘major’ (as you say here in the US) was psychology with ‘minors’ (not sure if that is the right word) in philosophy and evolutionary anthropology, including socio-ecology. I have an MSc in International Development – not sure how that would be relevant to this blog, per se, but it does say something about what interests me and about how I think. I have also studied various forms of healing, flower essence therapy and nutrition. I have worked in these two fields: natural health and development (mostly at grassroots level).
Spirituality is central to my life. I have a teacher, whom I have been with for over 6 years now.
All of these things inform who I am as a mother, how I move in this new ‘role’ and form the – until now- unspoken background of this blog. I write to get things out, off my chest, out of the hamster wheel of my mind. Sometimes I write to share; sometimes I write to lay myself bare. Sometimes it is just fun; at times it is practice, to keep me writing. Many of the things closest to my heart or, on occasion, the things most confused in my head never make it to the blog – the things that are blaring in my thoughts, throbbing with inarticulate emotion. It can be hard to handle these topics while they are hot, I find. But with time they cool down, I cool down, gain perspective, sort things out and then they make their way into a post… or not and that is okay too, if the moment has passed, the urge to write them up, gone. This is above all a labour of love, a distraction from the hard labour of motherhood (also driven by love). So I write when it is fun, when it is light and feels right, then I write.
I love your comments. I am grateful for kind, constructive feedback, topic suggestions, etc. Mine is but one voice in the constellation of mothers in the world – all of them heroes in my eyes in some way. Thank you for being there. Thank you for reading. Thank you.