A letter to myself as a new mom – may it go back in time and find me

“Sleep. Go to bed early and rest, rest, rest. Have the courage to rest, to take time for yourself, to ‘put yourself first’ in a loving and compassionate way. Let the house go to pot, ignore the guests, don’t worry about keeping up appearances of being a super-mom who does it all, doesn’t get tired and is still political and engaged. Listen to your body – a first for you, I know. Eat well. Eat real, whole, natural, healing foods. Rest. Admit your life has changed. Admit you have changed. Let yourself be who you are now – yes, even on facebook where you are ‘seen’. Let them know you do love your baby and you don’t care who knows it (even if they do discover you have gone to ‘the other side’ and become baby-crazy).”

I was so trying to take care of my mind, of remaining ‘me’ (‘hah, the irony’, she says to her Advaita friends) that I really burnt myself out trying to be a mom to a newborn and a lively, engaged woman, still in touch with my friends, talking about things other than baby stuff. Why?? Why? Are appearances and what people think of me really that important? Meanwhile I neglected my body… and now, looking back, I realise that taking care of the body would have been the best way to take care of the mind, of my wellbeing and emotions. It is all connected.

So, now, hoping I remember these hard-earned learnings, that I maintain this sensitive balance I have slowly built for myself, if I ever have another baby… and, in any case, just in life. Here is hoping!


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